Does Someone Else Live in Your House?

As I write this I am in a hospital. I started out in the emergency room thinking that they would run a few tests and tell me that all I had was indigestion. Wasn't that what I thought six years ago? Well, I am now waiting for morning to come so I can experience my forth heart cath. As you might expect my wife is worried. I don't particularly like it, but there's not much I can do. I have tried to accept that heart disease is an ongoing part of my life. A few weeks ago my wife and I heard a psychologist give a talk where he described a marriage where one member of the couple had a chronic health issue. In his words it was like another person living in the house with the couple. When he said that Tina and I just looked at each other knowing he was right. I often feel guilty that I have brought this un-welcomed visitor to live with us. It might be heart issues or it could be other chronic illnesses like diabetes or cancer that has lived with a family for years.

I hope everything goes well tomorrow. I feel more at peace with myself than I did in 2004, but I still have so much I want to do and so many places I want to see. Most of all I want to see my grandchildren grow up and I want to grow old with my wife.