Pump Head

As I have made clear before, I am not a doctor nor the son of a doctor. Now my grandfather on my mom's side was a Vet, but I don't guess that counts. Even though I am not an expert I can tell you what has been one of the most frustrating of my recovery. I am almost four years post op, and basically feeling pretty good, but there is one residual effect of the surgery. My cognitive abilities are noticeably lacking, or in other words my memory is shot for a 50 year old, and I am not as quick on my feet as I once was. It frustrates me to no end, and in the past I believe the dulling of some of my cognitive skills was on source of my depression. 

I titled this post "Pump Head."  That refers to the possible effects of the heart/lung bypass machine. Feel free to google the term and you should have enough material to read for hours. No everyone seems to be affected, but there seems to be consensus among health professionals that the issue is real and many patients are a bit less in regards to mental capacity after bypass surgery.  

This is another one of those issues where I was so encouraged when I found out that I wasn't alone as I struggled to get back to something that approximated normal. In my case I started with a lass than desirable memory and it just got worse. The real problem can when I needed to think quickly on my feet. I found myself often searching words and responses that should have come quickly only to have the finally come to my mind long after the discussion was pointless.

I know there are many others out there, and I would love to hear from you. How have you coped? 

Sick and Tire of Being Sick

What do kidney stones have to do with coronary artery disease? Not very much I hope.  It is a little past midnight and I just got home from the emergency room after suffering complications from a kidney stone attack over two weeks ago. Last Wednesday the urologist removed a small stone and inserted a stent in my right ureter.  My body not being particularly thrilled with the insertion of a foreign object basically rebelled.  My weekend was most unpleasant, but Monday was supposed to be great because today was the day to get that stent out. Well out it came and within three hours my ureter has swollen shut and I experienced pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy, well at least most of my worst enemies.  I am no at home feeling much better, but wondering if I am just falling apart. I seem to be able to accept that reality in a much better frame of mind than I did after my heart surgery. I have said this several times on this blog, but it is so true. There is just something so different about heart surgery. I have experienced many things more physically painful than bypass surgery. Today being one of them.  At this moment I feel good. I was blessed with another day albeit a painful one. I got to look at some wonderful pictures of our granddaughter. I realization that I am married to the lady who is and has become my soulmate.

Do Doctors Really Get It?

My cardiologist gets it. A growing number of physicians are starting to get it, but many others seem to still be in the dark. I am talking about the depression that so often accompanies bypass surgery. Here is my simple wish. I want cardiologists and cardiovascular surgeons to talk to their patients before and after surgery about depression and for the patient and his family to be aware that the risks for depression are real, but are treatable. A bypass patient could be screened for depression while still in the hospital. In my case I ended up suffering for weeks not really knowing what was wrong. Like is so often the case my wife's strong suggestion to seek help is what caused me to take the first step which led to a visit to my family doctor and finally to the medication that I needed to help me recover from my depression. Not everyone who has bypass surgery gets depressed, but many do and unfortunately many of those that do never get the proper care for a medical condition that is just as real as coronary artery disease.

Sickness after Surgery

I have been sick for about a full week. I feel fine now, but a few days ago I just felt rotten. Most people don't realize this, but a normal run of the mill sickness can drive a bypass survivor crazy. After surgery you already feel like you have narrowly escaped death so anything even a little out of the ordinary can really mess with your head.  "Does this have anything to do with my heart?" is usually the first thought to pop into your mind. In time you realize that you can get sick like everyone else and that a cold doesn't mean your imminent demise. There are a lot of hurdles to get over to get back to your normal, but you can get there. I promise.

Complacency

I knew it was coming, and I deserved just what I got. Over the last few months I have put on a few pounds, and yesterday was the day for my annual blood work and check-up with my cardiologist, Dr. Stacy Smith. As I approached the scales I was thinking of what I could take off and still be decent. Wallet, belt, cell phone, keys, they all weigh something and as I stepped on the scales I knew I needed all the help I could get. Those scales don't lie and they were telling me that I had slacked off, that I had become complacent. Then the nurse drew the blood and in a few minutes the numbers were there in black and white. Most were still fine, but my triglycerides were awful. Then Dr. Smith, the coolest cardiologist in the world, started talking. She would tell you that she was real nice, but in the process she let me have it. I have to go back to see her in three months and she expects me to come back lighter, as in 10 pounds lighter. She proceeded to tell me where I was heading and I heard her use the word diabetes. To say that she got my attention is a gross understatement, but to tell the truth I pretty much knew what I had done before I got the word from her. Over the last few months as I began to feel more and more like my old self I started to eat more and more like my old self. I think that one of the biggest struggles bypass survivors have is to make really lasting lifestyle changes. I remember right after my surgery I was ready to eat tuna everyday for the rest of my life. Time passes and it becomes so easy to become lax. I need to remember that I am in the middle of a never ending war with CAD, and the price of letting up could be a lost battle at the least, or worse, I could loose the war. On June 3, I will have to face Dr. Smith again. I will let you know how it turns out.

A Reason For Joy

I was thinking to myself the other day that I am no longer depressed. My life is again filled with joy. If any of you are reading this who are just beginning your journey after bypass don't forget that recovery takes time, and sometimes a lot of time. I have found that when I got back to the point when I became less focused on myself and what might happen in the future, and more focused on the present the better I got. On February 17th my daughter delivered a beautiful little girl named Savannah. She is my new joy. Today is good, and I will choose to claim all that I can from this one day I have, and if blessed with a tomorrow I will do the same with that day.

The American Heart Association

AIn my journey with coronary artery disease I have found a real supporter in the American Heart Association. For a long time I never really gave AHA much thought. That was before I got involved and started to find out that they were about helping people and not just about raising money. Oh, they raise money, lots of it, but it's what they have done and continue to do with the money that really got my attention. It wasn't that long ago that I found out that the heart lung machine was developed thanks in large measure to research grants from the AHA, and without that machine no bypass surgery, and without that machine I don't think I would be writing this now. That realization has helped me to get involved with the Memphis area AHA. I wish I could give them more of my money, because in a real sense I owe them my life.