Heart Bypass: Three years later

I should have started this blog three years ago, but in retrospect I don't think I was really ready. I have been through so much and I have learned so much. Three years ago on this date I was less than a month from emergency heart bypass surgery. Three years ago I was feeling bad, but didn't really know why. I was living in Knoxville, TN, and knew something was wrong, but really never thought about my heart. I guess I should have. After all, both my older brother and late father had been through bypass surgery, but they were smokers. My brother was 52 at the time of his surgery, and my father was 69. I was only 46. I was just too young, or so I thought.

I will never forget Wednesday, May 11, 2005. I had just finished a meal at a restaurant with some work associates. I told the guys that I really didn't feel well and was going home. When I walked thru the door my wife looked from the computer and calmly let me know that she had diagnosed my problem and we would need to leave for the hospital. I didn't want to go, but she didn't express herself in the form of an option.

The hospital was close by and in the beginning I really wasn't that frightened. After all, it was my wife sending me to the hospital and not a doctor, but once there my wife's order started making a lot of sense. After the initial EKG there were obviously problems. Then off to get a heart cath. That would settle things once and for all. In the back of my mind I was convinced that after getting a couple of stints I would be as good as new. I'm not sure how long the heart cath had progressed until the cardiologist started breaking the bad news. I had too many arteries blocked and the blockages were in some bad places.

Before that Wednesday was over I knew my life was about to change forever. I now was scared. I was mad. I was basically full of just about every emotion. More than anything else the reality starting hitting me that on Friday May 13, 2005, I would undergo a surgery unlike anything I had faced before. There was no time to go home, just some time to think. A number of people came to lend support. I was glad to see most of them, but more than anything else I wanted to talk to someone who had been through what I was about experience. I had a great visit from the hospital chaplain, but when he left I kept wandering if he really had a clue. It wasn't his fault. It was just my state of mind at the time.

This is just the beginning of my story. My goal for this blog is pretty simple. I want to create a place where survivors can come to share their stories and concerns. I am not a doctor. I am a survivor, but I am also a counselor by training, and would love to put both my experiences and training out there to offer helpful support to others. I feel much better today, but there have been times in my recovery process when the depression was almost unbearable. I want to share my story to encourage others to do the same. I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

As I said, I am not a doctor, and I won't try to act like one. I am just a fellow survivor who is trying to make some lifestyle changes that will affect the length and quality of the rest of my life.