Good Doctors

I now have a general surgeon to add to my list of doctors. I needed that kind of doc last week to remove my gallbladder. That also marked the end of my New Year's resolution for 2009. I thought I would keep it simple this year. No vow to loose 25 pounds, just a goal to go through a whole year without surgery. My 90 year old mother has kept this one for each one of her 90 years. Surly I could last one stinking year without a surgery, but no not me. Even though I failed at my resolution I did find a very good doctor. There is a sense in which laymen like me don't always do a very good job at judging the quality of a doctor. but while I might be limited in my ability to offer a peer review, I can, I believe, offer a meaningful observation or two.

This whole gallbladder thing started about three weeks ago with a trip to the emergency room convinced I was having a heart attack. My cardiologist, Dr. Stacy Smith, was concerned enough to do a heart cath. The cath actually looked great which made her suspect some gut issue. Off to the GI doctor. He confirms her suspicions and sends me to Dr. Carter McDaniel. He was able to schedule the surgery quickly. It went off without a hitch, and then he did something the day after the surgery which I thought was pretty cool. He called me, not his nurse, but him. He just wanted to see how I was doing and to see if I had any questions. The call was over in less than two minutes, but I wonder how often that is done? Maybe more often than I think, but I doubt it. Like I said, I can't judge a M.D. as a peer, but I sure can tell when a doctor communicates that he or she cares, and that still matters, and it still makes up part of my definition of a good one.

Happy 50th Birthday to Me!

I guess I shouldn't wish myself a happy birthday, but after all that I have been through I am going to do it anyway. You see, I wasn't satisfied with quadruple bypass surgery. I have also had major neck surgery, shoulder surgery, and a right total knee replacement. My goal for my 50th year is a year without a surgery. I think that is a pretty modest goal. I will keep you posted. In all seriousness, I am so glad that I can look back on my many travails and laugh. Not because surgery is funny, but because laughing just feels good and I think it is really good for you too. I have a good friend who has fought breast cancer twice and she credits the ability to laugh in the face of the disease with her ability to beat it. I think she might have something.  Wow, I actually made it through my forties.

Heart Bypass: Three years later

I should have started this blog three years ago, but in retrospect I don't think I was really ready. I have been through so much and I have learned so much. Three years ago on this date I was less than a month from emergency heart bypass surgery. Three years ago I was feeling bad, but didn't really know why. I was living in Knoxville, TN, and knew something was wrong, but really never thought about my heart. I guess I should have. After all, both my older brother and late father had been through bypass surgery, but they were smokers. My brother was 52 at the time of his surgery, and my father was 69. I was only 46. I was just too young, or so I thought.

I will never forget Wednesday, May 11, 2005. I had just finished a meal at a restaurant with some work associates. I told the guys that I really didn't feel well and was going home. When I walked thru the door my wife looked from the computer and calmly let me know that she had diagnosed my problem and we would need to leave for the hospital. I didn't want to go, but she didn't express herself in the form of an option.

The hospital was close by and in the beginning I really wasn't that frightened. After all, it was my wife sending me to the hospital and not a doctor, but once there my wife's order started making a lot of sense. After the initial EKG there were obviously problems. Then off to get a heart cath. That would settle things once and for all. In the back of my mind I was convinced that after getting a couple of stints I would be as good as new. I'm not sure how long the heart cath had progressed until the cardiologist started breaking the bad news. I had too many arteries blocked and the blockages were in some bad places.

Before that Wednesday was over I knew my life was about to change forever. I now was scared. I was mad. I was basically full of just about every emotion. More than anything else the reality starting hitting me that on Friday May 13, 2005, I would undergo a surgery unlike anything I had faced before. There was no time to go home, just some time to think. A number of people came to lend support. I was glad to see most of them, but more than anything else I wanted to talk to someone who had been through what I was about experience. I had a great visit from the hospital chaplain, but when he left I kept wandering if he really had a clue. It wasn't his fault. It was just my state of mind at the time.

This is just the beginning of my story. My goal for this blog is pretty simple. I want to create a place where survivors can come to share their stories and concerns. I am not a doctor. I am a survivor, but I am also a counselor by training, and would love to put both my experiences and training out there to offer helpful support to others. I feel much better today, but there have been times in my recovery process when the depression was almost unbearable. I want to share my story to encourage others to do the same. I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

As I said, I am not a doctor, and I won't try to act like one. I am just a fellow survivor who is trying to make some lifestyle changes that will affect the length and quality of the rest of my life.